


Carry Me Over

by ShadowMelly



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Artist Eren Yeager, Basically Eren being a creep, Blow Jobs, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Librarian Levi, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Stalking, Top Eren Yeager, Unrequited Love, Voyeurism, will add more tags later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-14 13:27:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2193504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowMelly/pseuds/ShadowMelly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren didn't realize there was something missing in his life until he saw him. And he never let him go...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Help, I'm Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Me+5 days with no internet+big ass music list=this 
> 
> Song of this chapter is "Help, I'm Alive" by Metric.

 

The first rays of the morning sun hit the young man’s sleeping face and a nose twitched in annoyance. He turned to his other side and pulled the thick covers over his head. He let out a small sigh of relief as he felt the sweet embrace of sleep pulling him again and he was just about to give in when suddenly a shrill, loud noise startled him out of his haze and made him almost fall off the bed. He was quick to reach out and shut the alarm off none too gently. He looked at the time and groaned, rubbing his eyes. He glared at the clock as if his lack of will would be enough to give him just a few more hours of sleep. He knew he shouldn't have stayed up so late last night but it’s not like he followed his own advice anyway. He would always tell himself that he would go to sleep early but then as the hours passed he would shrug and convince himself that in the morning it wouldn't be that bad and he would get up like every day. So he was stuck in a vicious cycle where every time he awoke it felt like he was being impaled several times as he crawled out of bed.

His cheeks puffed as he huffed and threw the warm, heavenly covers away from his body. He shivered. It didn't help that it was in the middle of the winter and his apartment was always so damn cold. He was a cheap ass so he didn’t bother spending money in heating as he spent a lot of time outside but it was pure torture in the mornings. He finally got up and stretched, grimacing as he heard a few joints pop. He scratched the small of his back, yawned (making a face as he tasted his own morning breath) and headed towards his bathroom, turning on the shower. While he waited for the water to heat up, he grabbed his toothbrush and applied a bit of toothpaste on it, bringing it to his mouth and started brushing his teeth. His dark red plaid pajama pants dropped to the floor before he opened the lid of the toilet. He frowned slightly as he gripped his softening morning wood. He glanced at the clock on top of the shelf of his bathroom and he bit at the handle of his toothbrush in frustration. Seems like jerk off time would have to wait for after he got off work. He gave his dick a few tugs as he finished pissing before he flushed and took off his matching button down shirt. The mirror on the wall beside him was starting to blur because of the steam and he rinsed his mouth on the sink before getting in the shower.

He sighed and let his forehead rest against the wall for a bit. The water hitting his back made him feel numb and, like always, he lingered in there more than he should.

“Shit!”

He was practically running as he went from room to room, drying himself and throwing the towel wherever it would land. He hurriedly put on a pair of blue jeans, a warm dark green sweater and wrapped a creme colored scarf loosely around his neck. He slipped on his trustworthy but worn red converse and grabbed his black backpack, not even bothering in checking himself in the mirror. He ruffled his chestnut hair and tried to brush his slightly overgrown bangs away from his eyes. He had long given up on brushing his hair with an actual comb but maybe it was time for a haircut.  He grabbed an apple from the fruit basket in the kitchen and after checking if he had the essentials in his backpack- especially his wallet and keys- he headed out, taking a bite of his apple.

He walked down the street in a fast pace, dodging people as he went. He finished eating his apple and ignored some of the mocking and pitiful glances he received. He didn't care if he looked like a loser in their eyes when some of them had already memorized his face from all the times he hurried to his work in his usual disheveled state. He dropped the skeleton of his apple in the nearest trash bin and checked the time on the watch on his wrist. He gave a little sigh of relief as he saw the cafe where he worked across the street and noticed he had arrived five minutes early. He almost patted himself in the back and his mood brightened up at the thought of not receiving an earful from his supervisor again. He gave a small shiver, remembering the fateful day where he had been late and the glare in that otherwise sweet face was enough to scare him to never do it again.

The door jingled softly as he walked in and the girl behind the counter- who was making sure everything was in order- looked up and smiled at him. She also seemed relieved.

“Eren, I’m glad you’re already here. Go change and I’ll open the cafe.”

He nodded and headed towards a small room in the back where there were three lockers for the employees. He opened the combination to his and changed into his work clothes. It was a simple white t-shirt with the cafe’s name written on its right breast pocket and the logo on the back. The logo was two roses overlapping each other with thorns surrounding it. It fitted the name _Wall Rose_ _Cafe_. He tied his waist apron and returned behind the counter just in time to see his supervisor, Petra, turning the card on the door from _Closed_ to _Open_. After that, she would either go upstairs where the management office was or sometimes she would stay and chitchat with Eren a little bit, especially on days where there wouldn't be many costumers. He always appreciated the company.

The environment of Wall Rose Cafe was warm and inviting, more so than his own house and Eren felt kind of lucky for getting himself such a laid back job. Sure, it could be a bit stressful on busy days since the sweets they sold were fresh from the kitchen and unique. The coffee was good too but most of the customers were drawn by the sweets. Their cook was a nervous, famished little thing; an auburn haired girl by the name of Sasha Blouse. Her peculiar quirks had gotten her close to unemployment many times but the success of her cooking always had been on her favor. It was not unusual for her to bake a batch but only half of it would end up on the shelves. The girl ate as well as she cooked. At the beginning it was funny how she would give the wildest excuses for the disappearance of the orders and it managed to tick on Petra’s nerves. After a rather mature discussion between the two of them, Sasha agreed to try and control herself. She had an eating disorder and it was not something she was proud of. She had pleaded with Petra, explaining that she didn't do it on purpose and she had begged for her job that day. Petra, having the big heart that she has, promptly forgave her. And in truth, Sasha had improved a lot since she had been hired. She was in therapy and not causing trouble in the supply room anymore.

Since they had no customers yet, he decided to go talk to her for a bit. They had taken a liking to each other from day one and had quickly become friends. He poked his head into the kitchen and saw her kneading a chunk of dough while humming a random little melody. He knocked softly on the door and barely contained a chuckle as her shoulders jumped before her head whipped towards the sound and a large grin spread her lips.

“Morning, Eren!”

He crossed his arms and leaned lazily on the door frame.

“Good morning, Sasha. Watcha doing?”

Her eyes turned back to concentrate on her work again as she replied in her usual cheery morning person chirping.

_I will never understand how someone can be so damn happy in the morning._

“I’m kneading dough for the breakfast bread! I already have a batch in the oven. Hungry little monsters will be demanding it soon.”

That’s what she liked to call the customers. It was a good thing she spent most of the time in the kitchen. Her social skills weren't exactly lacking per se but she was just very impulsive and most of the times blurted out whatever was on her mind. He remembered she had once told him her last previous job had been as a receptionist at a mediocre hotel and she had messed up one time by unintentionally pointing out one of the customer’s less than appealing scent. It had been a simple slip up but it had been enough for her to be kicked out. She had graduated in tourism and after that incident and many others before, Sasha decided she would dedicate herself to the cooking arts. Her eating disorder had been devastating to her at the time and Eren would notice how borderline depressed she was. She would show up at the cafe with dark circles under her eyes, looking malnourished and dressed sloppily. It was after that talk with Petra that she started showing signs of improvement. He didn't know what else Petra said to her but whatever it was, it had worked.

They heard the telltale sound of the entrance door jingling and Sasha turned to look pointedly at him. He huffed and groaned, dragging his feet.

“Yeah, yeah, going.”

The rest of the day was a blur then. Costumers went in and out and Eren would fill their orders for coffee and Sasha’s creations. It felt a bit busy but maybe that was because the other waiter, Connie, was on vacation right now. It was only for two weeks but that meant double the work for Eren. Connie Springer was the shortest man he has ever met yet though he was friendly and had been working at the cafe way before Eren was hired. He was the one that had given the basics to Eren- like how the cashier worked or the coffee machine (yes, he was a total noob) - and the two of them quickly became friends after that. As the cafe emptied once again and lunch time neared, he put on an innocent smile and gave two knocks on the kitchen door even though it was always open wide. Eren and Sasha had a silent understanding that they would respect each other’s work posts. She wouldn't have to cook anything for a few hours though and he found her washing the dishes. She glanced at him and gave him her easy smile again, waving a foam covered hand.

“Go ahead and have your lunch, Eren. I’m almost done here.”

He nodded absentmindedly and pretended to look indifferent as he looked down at his nails.

“So Sasha…have you talked to Connie yet?”

He saw her body freeze at that and he repressed the urge to snort out a laugh. She was so easy he almost felt pity. Almost. She resumed scrubbing the plate she had in her hand, now rubbing it ferociously. He tapped his short nails onto the door frame, knowing the noise would eventually get on Sasha’s nerves. Yes, he was a little shit.

“Uhm…no…I haven’t.”

Eren chuckled and dodged the flying dish rag aimed at his face. He held his hands up in a gesture of peace, his smile widening into a grin as he noticed the blush now dusting his friend’s cheeks. Seriously, both of them were just so obvious Eren shouldn't even have to be playing matchmaker. He just couldn't stand their tiptoeing around each other anymore. Before he went on vacation, Connie had stuttered out that he wanted Eren to give his number to Sasha “just in case” he was ever needed, giving the excuse that he wouldn't give her himself because he wouldn't be seeing her for the rest of the day even though he lived half an hour away from the cafe. Eren had simply rolled his eyes but complied. He had told Sasha that the reason why he was giving her Connie’s number was because said man wanted to know her better, which wasn't exactly a lie anyway. The girl had stuttered even worse than Connie but accepted it.

Eren shook his head and puffed his cheeks. Sasha gave him the “oh don’t you huff at me, mister!” look and he narrowed his eyes.

“Are you serious? Just call him and start talking, it’s not that hard!”

He then added with much sass.

“It’s not like you had any problems talking your butt out before.”

Sasha made a face of indignation before comically bringing a hand to her chest as if deeply wounded. Her expression turned more serious after a while though and she looked at the floor, biting her bottom lip and fumbling with her hands. Eren’s smile faded into a firm line and he sighed.

“And what would I talk about? I would just end up making a fool of myself like I always do.”

Eren walked towards her and rested a hand on her shoulder. She raised her head to look at him and he poked her nose.

“Just start casually. Say hi, ask him how he is, what he has been doing…things will come naturally by then. You’re a charming girl, Sasha, even if you don’t think so.”

She seemed surprised before she cracked a shy smile. She turned wordlessly and resumed washing the dishes and Eren raised an eyebrow. Her body started to shake and Eren was afraid that she was crying or something- he was already prepping himself to apologize for whatever the hell he had said wrong- when he heard her faint giggling.

“Sasha…?”

“Get outta here before we embarrass ourselves, Dr. Love.”

Eren snorted but uttered out a “later!” and left her alone. She was probably mulling over what he had said and hopefully gathering her courage to call Connie. He went upstairs and knocked on Petra’s office, entering after her consent and politely asked her if she wanted him to bring her something for lunch. She smiled brightly at him and waved him off.

“Thanks, sweetheart, but I already ate.”

He smiled back at her and excused himself. He gave a small sigh as the cold air and mixed scents of the city hit him and headed towards his favorite restaurant nearby. It was a cozy and humble place but it served the best burgers and steaks, in Eren’s opinion. He entered and his nose was assaulted by the mouthwatering aroma of grilled meat and their secret mixture of seasoning and sauce. He sat down at his usual place at the counter and the waitress gave him her famous angelical smile.

“Hello, Eren! Are you having the usual?”

Krista always asked him the same everyday and everyday he answered with the same playful nod. Her smile would widen- as if that was even possible- and she would happily tell his order to their cook, a tall, freckled and easily angered girl by the name of Ymir who would just grunt. Eren loved this, the safety this routine brought to him. It gave him the illusion that he could control something in his life. He stared at the window while he waited for his food, tapping his fingers absentmindedly against the wood of the counter. The day was grey and boring and he held back an exasperated sigh. It was probably going to rain around the time he got off work. He watched people walking to and from, busy as ants. They were a moving blur as his thoughts trailed off and a yawn forced its way out of his lips. The sizzling of the meat cooking and the buzz of people talking in the restaurant was but a faint mumbling in his ears.

_Damn. I’ll definitely go to bed earlier tonight. I can’t keep going like this._

It was then, in his sleepy state, that he was roughly startled by a single person. He was walking at a slow, relaxed pace, immediately standing out between the rest hurrying and stressing, as if mocking them. Eren found himself leaning closer to the window without thinking, squinting his eyes with the sudden hope of seeing him closer. He noted that, compared to the other people passing by him, he was relatively small and Eren scratched Connie as the shortest man he had ever seen. This stranger beat him to it, yet his lack in height did not affect his allure, in fact, it only added to it as if it suited him.

Eren blinked several times, shaking his head and feeling disoriented as if awoken from a bizarre dream. A plate with a delicious looking burger and fries was placed in front of him and he looked up at Krista, failing to smile a silent thanks to her for once. The girl’s own smile faded a bit and her thin eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“Eren? Are you alright?”

He stole a quick glance at the window and his heart skipped a beat as he saw the stranger checking out the headline of a newspaper on display before he headed off again and vanished from Eren’s sight. He gave a shaky sigh and looked at Krista once again whose smile had faded completely leaving only the worried expression. It didn’t suit her even though Eren knew she spent a lot of time worrying for others. He forced out a chuckle, slightly embarrassed for dozing off like that.

“I’m alright, Krista. I guess I’m just a little tired.”

Her frown was immediately replaced by a knowing look as she shook her head and placed her hands on her hips.

“You better be sleeping properly, young man.”

Eren found it amusing how she acted so motherly even though she was actually younger than him. He humored her and gave her a salute.

“Yes, mam!”

Her smile was back on her face as she attended the other clients. Eren grabbed his burger and took a bite, giving a small moan as the rich flavors exploded in his mouth. The satisfaction of eating good food and satiating his hunger distracted him from his worries like paying the bills and such. Yet it did not distract him from the image now firmly retained in his mind of a short man, like any other but not like anyone else. Never before had he felt so captivated by anyone by mere sight alone and it was a bit scary. It’s not like the guy was anything otherworldly, he didn't even see his face but…there was just something…

_Urgh…I definitely need to sleep more._

His brain was probably all fried. And anyway…this was most likely one of those onetime events. Chances were he would never see that man ever again. A good thing too, as his heart was still beating hard against his chest. He finished his meal and paid, waving at Krista who waved back with twice the enthusiasm. He grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck. That girl could be so sickeningly sweet sometimes it felt like he could get diabetes from it. She seemed to have some kind of relationship with that other girl, Ymir. The taller one was always growling at the more grabby customers, always keeping an eye on Krista with more ferocity than just a friend would. Eren saw her once throw a drunk but burly man out of the restaurant and he admitted being both impressed at her strength and very intimidated. He too had been a target of her spine chilling glares whenever he talked to Krista. She had stopped doing that though when one day she noticed him checking out a rather handsome guy that had sat next to him. Now she would even acknowledge him with a nod if she ever saw him.

Eren whistled a mindless low tune as he made his way back to the cafe. The rest of the afternoon was uneventful and he was soon bored out of his mind. He wished he had brought his sketching notebook with him.  He was feeling kind of inspired and his fingers where restless, always having to grab or fumble with anything. After four long hours, it was finally time to go home and he headed towards the lockers, undressing his work shirt and putting on his sweater and scarf. Sasha entered the room when he was done and he waved her goodbye before heading back home. Just as he got out of the cafe, he looked up at the dark clouds and frowned at them, feeling the childish urge to stick his tongue at them out of spite. He then went to get his umbrella out of his backpack but as his hands weren't finding it, he cursed.

“Goddamnit, I knew I was forgetting something!”

And that was how fifteen minutes later he was opening the door to his apartment soaking wet and cursing under his breath. He closed the door behind him with a little more force than needed and flung his backpack to the couch in the living room. He took out his wet clothes and hung them in a hamper before changing into his red plaid pajamas once again. If he tried really hard, he could imagine he had never gotten out of his house that day. He dried his hair with a towel and started brewing coffee. No way was he going to survive the rest of the day without his dose of caffeine. As soon as that was done, he sipped it carefully and headed back towards his living room where there were his painting tools and unfinished work. He sighed and sat down on the stool in front of it, pulling back his sleeves till his elbows and resumed painting. It was a simple thing; just the view from his apartment which was a great part of the city at the time of sunset like it was right now. It was beautiful and he thought it one of those things that were worth being imprinted in something that would last longer than those fleeting minutes every day.

He only painted stuff like that, things that were worth keeping and remembering. He had rejected some requests because of that, which was a bit stupid of him since he was in no way famous and he should take whatever opportunities knocked at his door but it would simply turn out like crap if he was not feeling it. And he refused to sell crap. So even if his mediocre paying job at the cafe was barely enough to cover the art tools’ expenses, he had acquired a good reputation among-st his very few but faithful customers.  He was almost done with this one anyway. The relaxing and familiar feel of the brush in his hands brought a small smile to his lips and it was just him and the strokes of the brush, leaving an explosion of colors wherever it passed. In this world, he was creator of all things and once again he indulged the illusion of having control of something, of having power over anything. He was the one pulling the strings in this world where the limit was only where the canvas ended.

It was already nightfall by the time he was done and he left it there to dry. He would call his customer the next day and tell him it was done. He might make a pretty penny with this one. It turned out really well and he was proud of it. He took a photo of it to add to his collection of his previous works before looking around and noticing that it was dark with only the lamp, in the coffee table in front of his couch, on. He turned that one off and turned on the one in the ceiling. He turned on the TV too, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the silence in his apartment. He listened to the news with little interest and since he didn't feel hungry, he made a ham sandwich with mayonnaise and chips and plopped down on the couch, munching. He zapped through the channels looking for a cool movie before his gaze strayed towards his sketching notebook in the coffee table. His pencils were there too and there was something in the back of his mind telling him that he had to draw _that_ moment before it would be gone forever. His breath itched and he gripped the notebook almost in a panic; the remains of his sandwich forgotten.

He drew the sharp edges of every building; he made sure that every detail was drawn with the utmost care. He added the people, a simple blur between that one infuriatingly out of place man. He saved him for last, erasing and redrawing many times while he did the body before he was able to portray that relaxed grace he had witnessed. Next was the head, and he remembered a finely sculpted nose, slightly perky but not too much. He had an undercut and his hair was as dark as obsidian and Eren felt that no matter how much he pressed with his pencil, it would never be dark enough. His eyes drank in the sharp jaw and he wished he could see more of that face. Frontal and up close. He was just staring at his finished drawing by now, his eyes drinking in that one figure as if time had stopped at that moment and he could stare forever.

He gasped as he came to his senses, realizing how crazy he was sounding, and he threw the notebook to the other side of the couch as if it was burning, his eyes widened and his breathing shallow. He stood up, turned the TV off and decided it was _definitely_ time to sleep. He gave one last lingering look at the drawing lying innocently on the couch and he shook his head, ruffling his hair.  He promptly threw himself in his unmade bed and nuzzled into the covers, wrapping himself almost like a burrito.

His dreams were empty and unsatisfying. He wanted more…but it was so impossibly out of his reach.


	2. Gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of this chapter is "Gravity" by Poets of the Fall.

A fist slammed none too gently on the alarm clock as Eren groaned and squirmed under the covers. His legs rubbed against the mattress, seeking heat and almost wanting to become one with the bed. He felt so exhausted, he could just sleep forever. With great effort, he painfully opened his eyes and promptly turned to scream into his pillow when the sunlight greeted him. He remained there for a few minutes and when he deemed that he was done throwing a fit at life, he threw the covers away from his body in one fluid movement and jump up from the bed. He repeated his morning routine like always with the exception that today was his day off. So why was he up so early? Eren checked his phone and cringed when he saw the message was still there and very much real.

_“Mikasa: Eren, me and Armin are coming over for lunch.”_

He sighed and looked around his apartment, his body tiring already with the thought of how much cleaning he would have to do. Not to mention he would have to go shopping for groceries too as his fridge was pretty much empty by now and he doubted Mikasa would be satisfied with crappy microwave meals. His sister would always do this. Ever since he left to a home of his own, Mikasa would make sure they at least spent a day of the week together; usually Armin would come along too as he was practically considered family. He remembered her looks of disapproval the first time she came to his apartment only to see it a bit untidy and chaotic. Armin had laughed, joking about how typical it was of an artist but Eren didn't think he could bear that look Mikasa kept giving him as if she thought he couldn’t take care of himself.

So he purposely got up at the usual time he did for work, just so he had time to clean up and make lunch. Armin, blessed he be, would bring the dessert. That guy had a knack for making sweets and sometimes he could even rival Sasha. It was one of the few things he looked forward to in this day. Don’t get him wrong, he loved his sister but she would always use this day as an excuse to interrogate him about his life, always leading to embarrassing questions like:

_“Eren, have you been eating properly? You look a little skinny.”_

_“When will you be getting a haircut? Your hair is starting to look like a rat’s nest.”_

_“Have you gotten yourself a boyfriend already?”_

Eren grumbled and a faint blush tinted his cheeks. Armin would always give him those apologetic glances full of pity as he sank in his seat underneath Mikasa’s scrutinizing gaze. She was like a second mom and although he knew her intentions were the best, he would always end up snapping at her in irritation. He went to his kitchen where his cleaning supplies were and grabbed hold of a broom. He started sweeping the kitchen floor of any crumbs that he carelessly dropped while making his sandwiches.

As he did so, he reflected. Five days had passed since that weird day and his notebook still lied innocently on the other side of the couch, a side he now ridiculously avoided like the plague. It was closed for his own sanity yet if he closed his eyes for a second, he could see that drawing as clear as if he was directly looking at it. The image was printed in his mind, taunting him. He shivered and shook his head. He had survived it nonetheless and he was considering just throwing that drawing away but his heart throbbed in indignation every time the thought crossed his mind. He then deemed himself a masochist.

It took him half an hour to finish sweeping his apartment, before he vacuumed the carpet on his bedroom and then dusted the furniture. He nodded in satisfaction before he glanced at the clock. Two hours had passed but he still had time for a shower and grocery shopping. He would probably still be making lunch by the time Mikasa and Armin arrived but they wouldn't mind. Especially once Mikasa saw how much effort he had put on making his apartment presentable. He threw his pajamas on the dirty clothes basket and turned the shower on. He looked at himself in the mirror and poked his sides. He had never considered himself unattractive; he actually liked how he looked like. His skin was naturally tanned and his eyes were his favorite features, the color being a rich turquoise. He reminisced how his gaze had made women and men squirm back when he was younger and stupidly confident. Back when his dreams where fed with naivety and foolish hope as he sleep deprived himself towards a successful graduation and how he longed for the _bright_ future ahead of him.

Eren curled his lip at his reflection and got in the shower when he felt that the water was hot enough. He washed his hair meticulously, smirking as he noticed it was reaching his shoulders already. Mikasa was going to have a fit. He got out and dried himself. He picked his favorite pair of jeans and, glancing outside his window, he picked a plain white T-shirt. His eyebrows rose as he noticed it was actually a sunny day outside. He opened his window and put his arm out, testing the temperature. It was pleasant, not too cool but not too warm either. He grinned as he finished dressing, put on his converse and left.

The streets were busy as always but it was like the sudden change in the weather had lifted everybody’s spirits. Families were out, the laughter of children was heard everywhere and even the scents of the city smelled happier. It was a good day indeed. Eren maintained a relaxed pace although he couldn't quit the hurry in his steps as it was an acquired habit of his. He stuffed his hands in his front pockets and turned the corner that lead towards the street where the grocery store he used to shop at was. He usually tried to avoid supermarkets as he didn't like places with lots of people. It always felt cramped and suffocating. Last time he went there had resulted in an unwanted fight with an old lady over the last box of his favorite cereals and he was terribly ashamed that such an event had happened. Ever since then he had practically worshiped this little grocery shop that not only maintained a friendly and cozy environment, where some people would smile at you while others simply ignored him- which was ideal for Eren- and especially…they had his favorite cereal.

He licked his lips as he practically tossed the box of cereal into his basket. He stopped for a second before shrugging and grabbing another box from the shelf. He practically devoured them anyways. He hummed as he picked all the things he needed and headed towards the line at the cashier. There was a tall man in front of him and Eren raised an eyebrow as he faintly recognized him. He was blond and was dressed in expensive looking clothes. In fact, everything in this man screamed expensive. It surprised Eren that someone like that would be in a little grocery shop like this one only to buy hand sanitizer of all things. Eren then remembered where he had seen him before; he used to show up once in a while at the cafe. He seemed to be friends with Petra.

_I think his name is Erwin…_

The man named Erwin absentmindedly handed the hand sanitizer for the cashier to scan it. He was talking on the phone with a small smile on his lips.

“Yes, I’m buying it right now, don’t worry…”

He then handed a ridiculously big note to pay for it and the cashier sighed in frustration, preparing to rake the register for the change. Erwin raised a hand and gave what Eren could only describe as one of those perfect advertisement smiles.

“Keep the change.”

And then left, leaving the cashier staring at him with curiosity before Eren cleared his throat and started laying out his things. For some reason that man irritated him beyond belief and it was not because he was rich.

Eren shook his head and paid for his stuff before heading back home with two sacks in his hands. He heard a smooth chuckle behind him and Eren glanced back only to then look at the ground and grit his teeth as he saw it was that guy, Erwin, who was still talking on the phone. A couple of minutes passed before Eren breathed in relief as Erwin turned and went the other way, heading towards the city library. He arrived at his apartment and set the groceries on the kitchen counter. He glanced at the clock and twisted his nose before washing his hands and get started on lunch. He decided he would make something simple as he was no chef and he was only cooking to please Mikasa not with the food but with the fact that he was cooking. He settled for spaghetti and meatballs. It was filling and it held good memories of his childhood when his mother would cook it just for him. Eren smiled wistfully at that. He missed his mother.

He snapped out of his thoughts with the sound of the doorbell and he wiped his hands in a kitchen rag before opening the door. He was promptly greeted with a warm hug and blond strands of hair and he hugged back.

“Hey, Armin!”

His friend pulled away and smiled brightly at him. He had a covered plate in his hands and he motioned for him to enter so he could put it down. It was a wonder how Armin managed to hug him and hold onto the desert at the same time.

“Eren.”

He only had time to turn before he was assaulted in a tight hug. He wheezed and patted his sister on the back, managing to speak out a greeting.

“Hey, Mikasa…good…to see you too…”

He could Armin faintly chuckling and Eren rolled his eyes. He practically pushed Mikasa away and she gave one of her very rare and small smiles. He smiled back and let her in too before shutting the door. He groaned as he watched her scrutinizing his apartment, making sure everything was in order- at least as much as it could be- before she turned to him and Eren held his breath. She simply nodded at him and Eren sighed, his smile widening. It was good to know that all that work hadn't been for nothing. Mikasa seemed to have hawk vision or something when it came to this. He then returned to the food cooking in the oven. He waved his hand towards the living room.

“You guys can go watch television or something. I’m almost done with the food.”

He heard Mikasa’s hum; she sounded pleased. Armin shook his head and sat down on at the kitchen table.

“Come on Eren, tell us stuff. We didn't come here to watch television.”

Eren cringed and glared at Armin. Mikasa seemed to brighten up as she joined Armin. His friend seemed to realize his mistake and his lips moved in a silent apology.

“Yes, Eren, tell us how things are going. How’s work?”

Huh, well he could answer that. Eren was a bit surprised that his sister was starting with a relatively normal question for once. He nibbled on a string of spaghetti and hummed as he deemed it ready. He turned off the oven and Armin got up to set the table, as he always did. He set the steaming pans of spaghetti and meatballs in the middle of the table and sat down. He waited until everybody served themselves before he answered Mikasa.

“Normal, as always. A bit busy since Connie left for his two week vacation but nothing me and Sasha can’t handle.”

Mikasa hummed as she wrapped her spaghetti around her fork before bringing it to her mouth. They ate in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds being the tingling of the cutlery.

“This is really good, Eren!”

Eren snorted but smiled at Armin. Mikasa only nodded in agreement. That was when he noticed her eyes stray towards his hair.

_Oh no…_

“Eren, you should-“

“Yea, I know, I know, Mikasa. You know I was thinking of letting it grow a little bit though. I kinda like it…”

His voice died down at the end as he saw that look of disapproval on her face. It’s not like he let Mikasa dictate his life- she only did this because she knew she couldn't after all- but they both hated to let each other down. They were the only family they had left after all. He saw her take a deep breath before she smiled sadly at him.

“It’s alright, Eren. It’s your hair; you can do whatever you want with it.”

Eren smiled back at her but then almost choked as she added.

“Even if you look like a wannabe of those 80’s rock stars right now…”

“Mikasa!”

She shrugged and finished her meal. He could see Armin’s shoulders shaking as he tried to hold his laughter. Eren pouted and ran a hand through his hair self consciously.

“You’re exaggerating…”

“Now that we’re done with that, I think it’s time for desert!”

Eren licked his lips as Armin set the covered plate he brought on the table, along with a big knife, three small plates and forks. He took the plastic that covered it to reveal Armin’s delicious yogurt pineapple cake. He even added cherries and whipped cream on top. It was a calorie bomb but Eren was salivating already. Armin cut a piece for each and they happily munched on it. Eren let out a moan and Armin blushed happily.

“Seriously Armin, it’s like this cake keeps getting better and better…”

“I agree with Eren.”

Armin’s blush deepened. It was nice to hear that he was good at something. Even if they were his friends, they seemed genuinely pleased.  They kept on making small talk as they ate, catching up. Armin talked about his new job and how happy he was to be finally working and being independent. A few more months and he could move into a house of his own. Armin was still living with his grandfather. He had graduated in physiotherapy and while the job he got as a masseuse at a four star hotel wasn't exactly what he had in mind, it was still something he liked and had studied hard for. Eren’s smile saddened a bit at that. At least his friend was going somewhere. Mikasa was a judo instructor and told about how things were going well and her trainees were showing promise. If they continued at the same pace they would start competing in no time.

When they finished, Eren stood up a collected the dishes to wash. Armin and Mikasa helped him and when they were done, they sat down on the couch in the living room. Everything was going well when he heard Armin yelp and reach something in his seat. He pulled out Eren’s notebook and looked at it curiously before his eyes lit up with excitement.

“Hey, Eren, this is your sketching notebook, isn't it?”

Eren’s heart almost stopped as he saw Armin start to open the notebook and peer inside.

“Can I see-“

Armin gasped as the notebook was snatched away from his hands. He blinked in momentary shock before he frowned.

“Geez, I’m sorry Eren, I just wanted to see your drawings…you always drew so well…”

Mikasa was looking at him suspiciously and Eren felt a little bad for the expression on Armin’s face. It’s just… he had acted by pure instinct. The thought of someone else seeing _that_ moment felt like it would defile it. He would allow himself to be selfish just this once. It was his and his alone for his eyes to feast upon. He could not stand that look of slight hurt on Armin’s face either though. He sighed and motioned for him to wait while he went to his bedroom to get one of his older notebooks. He had at least three of them, all of them product of his time in college, when his imagination ran wilder than ever. He gathered them all and then returned to the living room. He handed them to Armin who handled them as if they were timeless relics and Eren chuckled lightly at that.

“I just don’t like others seeing incomplete works. They say it gives bad luck.”

Eren waved the other notebook in his hand.

“This one just has one drawing in it.”

Armin’s mouth formed an ‘o’ and he nodded in understanding. Mikasa was still looking at him but if she had anything to say, she didn't say it. They spent a good part of the afternoon like that, the three of them on the couch, with Armin commenting on his drawings and laughing at the ones that made fun of his previous teachers. Mikasa raised an eyebrow at that and Eren shrugged cheekily. It was starting to be nightfall by the time they were leaving. They hugged tight and Mikasa said she would call when she arrived back home. Eren nodded and smiled at both of them as he shut the door. He sighed and plopped down on his couch again, letting his head fall back on the cushions. It was silent again without their presence and he rubbed his uncovered arms. It was starting to get cold again and he went to put on a warm sweater. It also seemed like it was going to rain and Eren snorted. Well, at least there had been a sunny day for a change. He grabbed his notebooks that Armin had left on the couch and placed them back in their place, inside the bottom drawer of his wardrobe. The new one remained in its usual place on the other side of the couch. He made a mental note to put it somewhere else when he had visitors though.

He felt like having tea so he went to his kitchen and opened the cupboard where he stored some. He frowned as he searched behind the other stuff there but it didn't seem to be in the place he used to hide it- yes, _hide_ it, because if Mikasa knew he had tea, she would drain him of it in no time since she loved it so much (he had learnt that the hard way)- he then realized it he must be out of tea already.

_Damn, but I could really go for a steaming cup right now…_

It was a good thing that although it was night, it was still early. He could still make a quick trip to the grocery store and come back in less than half an hour. He put on his black trench coat and black combat boots. It was going to rain for sure and converse weren't the best to wear in that weather, especially his worn red ones. He made sure he brought his wallet, keys and umbrella with him before he got out. There were less people out and Eren thought that despite it all, it was a pleasant night. The air was chilly but it felt nice against his skin. His body temperature always felt so high and even though he hated getting drenched to the bones, Eren liked the winter. He arrived at the grocery store and quickly went to the shelf where he knew his favorite tea would be, before he paid for it and left. There was no line at all as not many people went grocery shopping at this time and he hummed in satisfaction at how quick it was. He would soon be nestled in his couch, enjoying a cup of hot tea and watching any series that would be on.

He suddenly felt a raindrop on his nose and he twisted it, glaring at the sky. He opened his umbrella and as if right on cue, it started raining. He went in a relaxed pace, enjoying the sound of the raindrops hitting the ground. He was just about to turn the corner that led to his apartment when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He peeked inside and saw Mikasa’s name flashing on the screen. He went to pick up but stopped when he heard the sound of rapid footsteps coming in his direction. He raised his head but it was too late.

“Omph!”

His breath was kicked out of his lungs as someone collided with him and sent them both landing on their butts. His umbrella dropped to the floor and he inwardly groaned as he felt himself getting soaked. He rubbed his chest and opened his eyes. He saw pale hands reaching frantically for the books that had fallen in the wet ground and he swallowed as he felt his heart speeding up for some reason. He frowned and willed himself to look up at the person in front of him and that was when he forgot to breathe. His eyes traveled up the other’s drenched body, swallowing as he noticed the short stature right away even with him sitting down. He was dressed in a black wool coat but his slender throat was exposed enticingly- at least in Eren’s hazy mind- as he followed a raindrop trailing down. There it was…that sharp jaw, followed by pale rosy lips, that perky nose and the most intense pair of grey eyes he had ever seen. His thin eyebrows were currently furrowing as the stranger glared at him in frustration. He then looked at the books in his arms and his lips frowned in a somewhat pout and Eren felt hypnotized. The stranger got up in one fluid movement and Eren scrambled to do the same. He imagined that he must look really stupid, gaping like a fish and wide eyed but he couldn't help himself. He must have been dreaming because it was simply impossible for this to be happening.

_God, my heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest…_

The stranger picked up the two umbrellas and Eren was inwardly panicking as his was shoved into his helpless hands. His fingers brushed against the other’s and he seriously feared a heart attack right now. The stranger was grumbling about how his books were now ruined and Eren faintly heard a half hearted apology before he walked away. Eren gasped and turned. Seeing him walk away made his guts twist in the strangest way, like he was having all these feelings at the same time and he wanted to just throw them all up. His mouth opened to say something but he quickly shut it. He closed his eyes tightly and the image of that face was now engraved in his mind, joining the previous one. His eyes didn't leave the other until the stranger vanished as he turned a corner. Eren shook his head and groaned. He painstakingly resumed walking. His good day was forgotten as his thoughts were filled with that fascinating man.

Eren felt ridiculous. It only took two glimpses of this person for him to be completely hooked and fished. He was desperately recalling the soft but deep timbre of the man’s voice when he had apologized. He knew there was still nothing otherworldly about him but Eren couldn't help but find everything beautiful and perfect in this person. He saw his face like he had wanted to these past five days but now…he wanted so much more. He had heard his voice and had felt his touch, even if for a fleeting second. He wanted to know how that voice sounded like saying his name and how that touch felt like in other places. He shivered as he arrived at his apartment, taking off his coat and boots. He placed his phone in the kitchen counter, ignoring the flashing screen saying _“1 missed phone call”_ , and headed towards his bathroom. He closed the door and practically ripped his clothes off as he turned the shower on at maximum heat. He could feel his skin burning underneath the hot spray but his teeth had stopped clattering from the cold and he sighed. He soon turned it off and wrapped himself in a fluffy towel before he searched for a set of comfy, warm pajamas in his wardrobe.

When he was done with that, he automatically headed towards the living room and stared at his notebook for a few seconds before he gave in to his urges and started drawing. His brows furrowed in concentration and his eyes followed the lines in awe as he carefully drew each shape with precision branded into his memory. He licked his lips as he drew the other’s own and then made sure he was staring into his eyes as he drew them. He gave a few finishing touches in the deep furrow of his brows and drenched obsidian hair. He put his pencil down and gazed upon his finished drawing, humming in approval. He was lost to those steel like depths, he was sure now. His gaze did not stray as seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into an hour. All the possibilities, all the outcomes ran through his head as he replayed that small exchange they had and he allowed himself to dream. His lids started feeling heavy until he could not resist anymore and slumped against the cushions, notebook pressed tight against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like my Eren is resembling myself too much in some things xD I hope you liked this chapter! My apologies for any errors but I have no beta and English is not my native language :P


	3. Dig Your Own Hole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of this chapter is "Dig Your Own Hole" by Gotye
> 
> I intended to upload this chapter yesterday but my family kidnapped me for the rest of the day so I could only finish it just now. I hope you like it! ^-^

Eren’s nose wrinkled as he was awoken by yet another shrill noise. He shifted and immediately regretted it, groaning as his back and neck were hurting from the awkward position he was in. He opened his eyes and looked around noticing he had fallen asleep in his living room. That was when he realized that the shrill noise was coming from his home phone and, still in a somewhat sleeplike state, he dragged his feet towards it and picked it up without looking at the name flashing on the screen.

He really wished he had though.

“Eren, where the FUCK are you?”

Petra’s angry and frustrated voice made him almost drop the phone as he yelped. His eyes widened and he was now fully awake. How could he be so careless? He had work today!

_Oh God…she’s going to kill me…_

Eren seriously feared for his life at the moment, completely forgetting the danger of being fired. If Petra was mad to the point she was **_cursing_** _…_ then he was in real trouble. He glanced at the clock in the wall and nearly shat his pants as he realized he was two hours late. He stuttered out pathetic excuses as Petra ranted in his ear while he dressed himself as quickly as he could. He picked up his phone laying on the kitchen counter and saw at least five missed calls from Petra. He also noticed the other one from Mikasa and he gulped. He didn’t even bother with anything else; he picked up his backpack, slammed his entrance door closed and practically sprinted down the street towards the café. He almost ran over an old lady who then hit him with her purse as he yelled an apology. His cheeks had never felt hotter as he tried to ignore the stares and whispers directed at him.

The soft telltale bell announced his entrance and he wished he could rip that thing out for being so obnoxious. Almost every customer in the café was staring at him being a panting mess, some even hiding mocking chuckles behind their hands. Eren hunched over, trying to catch his breath, and glared weakly at them before a shadow loomed over him. He took a deep breath and looked up, cringing at Petra’s stance. Her arms were crossed and her usual friendly aura had all but vanished. He would probably be extremely embarrassed later over the fact that Petra had managed to actually scare him but right now his throat bobbed as he gave her a weak, nervous smile. Behind her, he could see Sasha serving the customers. She looked stressed and tired as breakfast was the busiest time at the cafe and why it was so crucial for Eren to arrive in time. Looking at her, Eren felt like shit. He was going to have a lot of apologizing to do.

He straightened his posture and looked at Petra. His smile was gone. She simply nodded towards the changing room and he wordlessly complied. After changing to his work clothes, he approached Sasha who was delivering a cup of coffee to one of the customers with shaking hands. The man smiled and thanked her but she pointedly glanced at Eren before quickly returning to her normal post at the kitchen. His eyes followed her before he went to attend to the other customers. Petra seemed too busy to give him a good lashing- to his momentary relief- as she engaged in what seemed to be a serious but at the same time casual conversation on the phone while she was looking through a window. He noted she seemed to be searching the streets for someone (a friend or a business partner possibly). While Wall Rose Cafe was fully owned by Petra, she also shared other businesses with a few associates- people Eren was told were very reliable and close to Petra- and the reason why she always seemed so busy all the time. Eren didn’t know how she could handle it; he knew if it were him he would eventually crack under all that responsibility and sink his and his associates’ business down. Petra was responsible and efficient but she also put a lot of trust in the people working for and with her and if Eren didn’t feel bad for being late before he was feeling even worse now. Sometimes he wondered why Petra was still putting up with his bullshit.

When everyone seemed to be served, Eren grabbed a wet rag and started cleaning the counter which had a few stains of coffee; one of the many reasons Sasha shouldn’t serve tables as her being nervous usually ended up in her making a mess. He stole another glance at Petra. She was now standing up from her seat as she hung up on whoever she was talking with. She headed towards him in a quick pace and he winced.

_Here it comes._

Surprisingly, she seemed much calmer now. Her expression was neutral as she regarded him.

“Eren, one of my associates is arriving soon. Make him a cappuccino and a strong cup of black coffee for me. Just a teaspoon of sugar please, I’m really needing it.”

Eren nodded, noticing only now how tired she seemed. She was dressed impeccably as always but her eyes had faint dark circles under them. He opened his mouth as he saw this was the perfect time for him to sincerely apologize but she interrupted him.

“I know what you’re going to say, Eren. I hope this doesn’t happen again or at least anytime soon. We can’t afford for that.”

Eren closed his mouth and nodded once again. Even if Petra seemed calm, he could tell she did not want to hear anything from him right now, especially his apology. She seemed pleased with his response and she turned on her heel to head towards her office but she halted midway to address him once more.

“Oh and Eren, please be more careful this time. We both know what happened last time one of my associates was here.”

With that said, she left. Eren blushed faintly and resumed wiping the counter, grumbling. He cringed just remembering. Everything had been going so well until he tripped and dropped a scalding hot latte directly on Petra’s associate’s lap. The man yelped loudly and apparently bit his tongue really hard from the shock because next thing he knew there was blood coming out of his mouth. Eren panicked after seeing that and Petra just seemed outright embarrassed as she pulled napkin after napkin from the dispenser on the table and frantically tried wiping the latte from the squirming man’s slacks while blabbering apologies for Eren’s idiocy.

_I think his name was Oluo._

The man wasn’t as upset as Eren expected though. Yes he was annoyed but that quickly faded away as he spent the rest of the meeting blushing at the extra attention Petra was giving him, probably trying to make up for the incident. Still, Eren certainly didn’t want **_that_** happening ever again.

He heard the chiming of someone entering the cafe and he raised his eyes towards it. He raised an eyebrow and his lips thinned as he saw that it was that tall blond guy from the other day. He was once again looking expensive in his white Armani suit. He was unbuttoning his jacket to reveal a baby blue shirt that was open at the collar and Eren begrudgingly admitted that the guy was actually quite attractive. He still didn’t like him though. He just seemed too perfect. He also seemed completely conscious of the effect his presence was having on the humble cafe as the customers- especially the women- were blatantly staring at him as if he was some kind of sweet Jesus. He even ran his hand through his perfectly brushed hair and Eren couldn’t help but compare it to that one porn actor he had seen doing the same once.

The guy then gave one of his usual smiles and Eren was snapped out of his mental rant as he saw Petra coming down from her office with a ton of papers in her arms. Eren sighed. It seemed this meeting would last quite a while.

“Punctual as always, Erwin.”

“It’s nice to see you too. Here Petra, let me help you.”

Eren rolled his eyes as he witnessed the typical white knight act. The man had taken the papers from Petra’s arms and was now effortlessly carrying them under his arm. Petra seemed just happy, probably used with him being a gentleman but Eren’s eye twitched as he heard a few dreamy sighs coming from the customers. He threw the rag next to the coffee machine and started making what Petra had asked. From the corner of his eye, he saw them sitting at the farthest table next to the largest window as they set the papers down and started talking. Erwin grabbed a pair of reading glassed from the inside pocket of his jacket and put them on, giving him a sort of intellectual look. He was carefully reading each sheet that was handed to him while commenting every now and then. Eren finished Petra’s order and headed towards their table with the cappuccino and coffee in a tray. He was careful with his feet; Petra’s warning fresh in his memory. He managed to make it to their table and he slowly set the cappuccino in front of Erwin and then the black coffee in front of Petra. He ignored Erwin’s smile and thanks as his eyes remained fixed on Petra. She raised an eyebrow probably still not impressed with his behavior but it seemed Eren couldn’t help but be an asshole to this guy. He just outright didn’t like him.

“Would you like anything else?”

Catching on to the situation, albeit still confused, Petra smiled uncomfortably before waving him off. Eren nodded, relieved to be getting out of there as soon as possible. He still caught on a little bit of their conversation though and he couldn’t help but feel curious.

“So how is he holding up?”

“You know how he is…still horribly disgusted with the world but he seems happy enough. Him moving here from France was a bit sudden and his English pronunciation is a bit rusty but I’m sure this was the best course of action.”

So a friend of Petra and Erwin had moved to here from France?  That was quite a trip. It was none of his business though and Eren simply shrugged as he resumed working. Lunch time came and he went to check on Sasha. He still had to apologize to her after all. He knocked softly on the doorframe and she turned around; her body relaxing when she saw it was only him. She giggled.

“Hey, Eren. You gave me and Petra quite a bit of trouble this morning. What happened?”

Eren scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

“I kinda fell asleep on my couch yesterday. Completely forgot I had to work today…sorry by the way.”

_God, this sounds like the lamest excuse ever even though it’s the truth._

Sasha gave him a condescending look. She totally believed him because she knew he would actually do something like that. She shook her head and smiled and Eren felt a weight lift off his shoulders.

“It’s okay, Eren. Why did you fall asleep on your couch though? Were you watching a movie?”

Eren was instantly reminded of intense grey eyes and he shivered. It was like he could still feel the rain drenching him and that man was sitting in front of him once again, glaring at him. He did not indulge in such thoughts though as Sasha was still waiting for his reply.

“Huh, yea, something like that. It got so boring that I just fell asleep, I guess.”

She shook her head once again before he decided to change the subject.

“Want to join me for lunch?”

Sasha shrugged and went to grab her wallet before they both headed out towards the restaurant Eren used to go. Krista immediately recognized Sasha as it wasn’t the first time they both went there to have lunch and even stayed a bit to chat when they were both served. The restaurant wasn’t very busy today and Krista had an extra bounce on her already bouncy step. It was mostly girly stuff though and Eren soon tuned them off as he munched on his hamburger. He savored the food and looked at the people walking by. He was almost expecting for it to happen again; for a certain someone to stand out among the others, and he was terribly disappointed when he and Sasha were soon done eating and heading back to the cafe. He felt a bit ashamed for acting like a lovesick puppy, constantly searching the crowds for a particular head of obsidian hair.

He and Sasha returned to their respective posts. Erwin and Petra were still sitting at the table by the window and he couldn’t help but be slightly impressed. They were both serious and respectable people. He saw a bag, from the sandwich takeaway across the street, on the table signaling that they had had at least something to eat. He was wiping a spill of soda from one of the tables when he overheard Erwin talking.

“Oh, Petra, I almost forgot to tell you…he said he was meeting us here too. In fact, I think he should be arriving in a few minutes.”

Petra looked a bit surprised before Eren saw her lips spread in a wide grin.

“That’s great, I miss him so much!”

Erwin returned her grin with a more reserved smile but his eyes twinkled just by talking about this man. They were clearly very fond of him. He felt a strange anticipation in his gut. His eyes would automatically turn towards the entrance door every time the bell chimed only to be slightly disappointed when it was only another regular customer. It was now nearing the end of his shift and he all but forgot about it. He was serving one of Sasha’s famous strawberry tarts to a customer when the bell chimed once again and he ignored it. It only caught his attention when he heard the sound of a chair being pulled and Erwin’s smooth and now warm tone.

“Levi!”

His head snapped up almost painfully and his eyes widened.

_Please tell me this isn’t happening._

**_He_** was standing there and very much real. Those grey eyes were looking directly at him seemingly annoyed and, dare he say, slightly curious. It only lasted a second though as the man he now knew was called Levi directed his attention towards the one that had called him.

That made Eren’s blood boil. His eyes followed as Erwin pulled Levi into a friendly hug but all Eren could see were Erwin’s hands touching the black haired man’s back, lingering there a bit more than normal. Levi returned the hug with a somewhat embarrassed pat- probably not used to showing affection in public- and Eren’s grip on his serving tray tightened till his knuckle joints crackled. They parted and Levi was then practically glomped by Petra who was hugging him tightly and showering his face with kisses. The way Levi’s eyes closed shut and his seemingly eternal frown deepened made Eren smile a bit. He shoved Petra away and his hands searched the black messenger bag he had hanging on his shoulder before he produced a small packet of sanitizing wipes, ripping it and wiping his face and hands frantically. Any other person might have found this kind of behavior a bit offensive, as he was implying that they were dirty, but Petra simply laughed at her friend’s antics and hugged him again, against the man’s protests. Eren quickly learned that Levi cursed a lot also. In both French and English. He was creative at it too, if the blush in the woman he was serving before did not prove it. It was funny, Eren had never seen Petra so euphoric. She was practically glowing as they calmed down a bit and sat down at the table. She had insisted for Levi to sit next to her and he had begrudgingly complied. There was a faint smile on his lips though and Eren latched on to it, committing it to memory. He already knew what he would be drawing tonight.

He only noticed he was standing stupidly in the middle of the cafe, serving tray in his hand, when Petra signaled at him to come. He breathed out a shaky sigh as he slowly walked towards their table. His heart was beating hard against his chest and he willed himself to calm down. Petra nudged Levi’s side and the other looked at Eren.

“Will you be having anything, s-sir?”

_Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me?_

Levi seemed to be pondering for a moment. This close, Eren noticed Levi had deep dark circles under his eyes, making him seem tired and stressed but Eren could only think they suited him. It added a dark and mysterious touch to his gaze.

“I’ll just have a green tea.”

Eren blinked. His mind was hazy as it was invaded by the low velvet tone of his voice. He gathered every word. His French accent was heavy and it sounded a bit awkward but Eren still craved for more of it.

“Any preferences on the amount of sugar…?”

“None.”

“Oh, alright.”

Eren was slightly disappointed with the curt answers he was being given. He turned around to begin making the tea but Levi’s voice stopped him.

“I meant that I want no sugar on my tea.”

Eren looked back to see Petra holding back a giggle. Levi was looking down at the table and it was obvious to Eren that he was struggling a bit with speaking English. It made Eren’s heart throb and he had an urge to tell him it was alright, that he would eventually get used to it. He refrained from it and simply responded with a nod. He was careful while handling the tea leaves. He boiled the water and he stole glances at Levi once in a while. He was truly a beautiful creature. Just by looking at him Eren imagined all the ways he could draw him or even paint him.

Levi seemed bored with the conversation Petra and Erwin were having and his grey eyes traveled around the cafe before they landed on him. Eren blushed and quickly looked back towards the counter where he was making the tea. He was a jittering mess and his hands were faintly shaking as he finished the tea and placed it on the tray. He didn’t think his poor heart could handle much more of this. He was trapped between making this last as long as possible or just get on with it so he could get back home and pathetically draw comfort on the fact that his drawings would be there forever. He made his decision when Levi looked away and he returned to their table with hurried steps.

And then…it just happened.

In his clumsiness, he lost his balance when he was in the middle of placing the cup of tea in front of Levi.

“Eren, look out!”

Not even Petra’s warning saved him. His upper half fell down on the table and the tray was slammed on it. Hot green tea flew and landed on…

“Putain!*”

…on Levi. Eren laid there for a few seconds. His eyes were closed tightly. He heard the laughter of the customers and that asshole that used to come almost everyday, Jean (who was also French), was the one laughing the loudest.

_You fucking bastard._

He gasped as he was roughly hoisted up by his collar and Levi’s eyes were glaring holes into him. If looks could kill he would be a pile of ashes by now. He must be insane though because even now that he was in such a mortifying situation, that Levi looked ready to kill him, he still admired the way the other’s cheeks flushed in anger. He almost felt proud of finally getting a reaction out of Levi even if the man probably hated him now.

“You fool! T'as le cerveau d'un sandwich au fromage ou quoi!**”

Jean was now close to hysterics and Eren had to guess that whatever Levi had said was probably something demeaning. And yes, Eren considered himself now batshit crazy AND suicidal because he was still fascinated with how Levi’s voice sounded like when he was angry, how his voice had now a violent roughness and his words were spewed out with viciousness.

“L-Levi, I’m terribly sorry! Please, calm down…”

Petra was his guardian angel, Eren was sure. Levi promptly let him go and he fell back onto the table with a grunt. He scrambled to get off it and saw Erwin trying to wipe down the wetness staining Levi’s **_white_** button down shirt.

_Shit, he’ll never forgive me._

Levi slapped Erwin’s hands away, grabbed his messenger bag and went to leave the cafe. As Levi passed him, he purposely bumped shoulders roughly with him not sparing him a glance and Eren suddenly understood why he was now just leaving like this, leaving his friends. Jean had stopped laughing but he would freaking giggle from time to time and the customers were staring just as much at Levi as they were at Eren. He had completely embarrassed Levi on his first time at the cafe and it was unlikely that the people would be forgetting his face. He felt like a total fool and an incompetent asshole. The man seemed surprisingly sensitive when it came to simply being in public and Eren had only made it worse. He heard Erwin apologizing to Petra before the blond buttoned up his jacket and went after Levi, looking back at Eren with a frown. Eren sighed before he turned to Petra. This was unforgivable and Eren was sure that today was the day he would be fired. His heart broke a little bit more as he saw the confused and stunned look on Petra’s face before she glared at him. She gathered her papers in her arms and jerked her head towards the table.

“Clean up this mess. I don’t want to see your face for the rest of the day, Jaeger.”

He nodded, already hurrying to get a rag to clean that up. Petra disappeared up the stairs into her office and he scrubbed the table clean. He was feeling increasingly distressed as the tea he had so carefully prepared was rapidly absorbed by the rag and when he was done with that, he went to the changing room, changed into his normal clothes and checked on Sasha. Once again, he was feeling like shit and it was nobody’s but his fault. Sasha seemed to be a bit relaxed and when she noticed him at the doorway she gave him a sad smile. She probably saw everything.

“We’ll talk about it later, if you want.”

He could hug her right now but he did not want to embarrass her too. He gave a grateful nod and headed out. He heard Jean call after him but he simply flipped him off. One day he was going to beat that asshole black and blue.

He was soon back home. He shut the door behind him and slid down against it, resting his head on top of his knees. How could he have fucked up such a perfect moment? He blew the only chance he had of ever being a part of Levi’s life, of seeing him, hearing him, touching him.

_Please…let this be just a horrible dream…_

Eren got up and headed towards the living room. It seemed it was quickly becoming a routine of his as he opened his notebook and grabbed his pencil. He started by drawing Levi’s smile, a small precious little detail that he had had the privilege to witness and now it would be his forever.  As he finished that drawing, he flipped the page over and started drawing another one. This time he had the image of Levi’s angered face looking at him and he carefully transmitted that onto the paper. He bit his lip as he stopped midway. The tip of his pencil broke and he hunched over the unfinished drawing, staring pleadingly unto the unforgiving grey glare.

_Please…I need you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also might update a bit slower since school is almost beginning and I'll have tons of stuff to do. Don't worry, I'll still be continuing this story. <3
> 
> I want to give a big thanks for all the kind words you guys have been giving to me, they really encourage me to keep writing, also all the kudos, bookmarks and overall anyone who is simply interested enough to read it (yes, I'm talking to you, you beautiful hits).
> 
> *Fuck!  
> **You have the brain of a cheese sandwich! ( I don't really speak French, I just took this phrase from a French insults site so if there are any errors, you're free to notify me ^-^ )  
> Edit: A huge thanks to RizMayonnaise for correcting Levi's french in here <3
> 
> P.S. : I'm sorry for doing this to you, Eren. ;w;


	4. Stayin' Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of this chapter is "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees. ( I know right? xD)

Eren stood in front of a window, watching the sunrise. He didn't sleep much and his thoughts were enveloped in a cotton like feeling; his eyes heavy and distant. He had kept turning from side to side on his bed. His sleep had been light and he had even moved from his bed to his couch in the middle of the night but that didn't help much. He was restless with guilt and worry. He glanced at the clock hanging on the wall of his living room indicating that it was six o’clock in the morning. He still had two hours to kill before he had to get ready for work. He looked away from the window, frowning. He had no idea what to do with himself. He felt too tired and useless. His eyes strayed towards his canvas and palette and he pulled his small stool in front of it, sitting down. He slowly took the brush and started mixing the colors. He did this automatically, not really knowing what he was going to paint. After his last painting had been successfully sold, his inspiration had disappeared for a while; work occupied most of his time too. Still, the colors were successfully mixed and he dipped the thinnest brush he had on a silver tone he had created. His turquoise eyes narrowed a he started with a simple line. He blinked several times as his vision started to focus a little more and soon another line followed the other and another until they started forming a shape. His lips involuntarily curved into a small, shy smile as he instantly recognized the beginnings of a face he was starting to know all too well. He also realized that the thought of only drawing and painting Levi did not bother him so much anymore. He had always wondered when he would find his muse, after all. Levi’s features were naturally artistic, he was well proportioned and even his small stature suited him. He was…perfect.

Eren’s smile fell a little as he recalled the day before. His first actual interaction with Levi couldn't have gone worse. He looked up at his painting where the other’s jaw was starting to become more familiar. He added a few more touches before he moved down and his brush was soon caressing a slender, elegant neck. He couldn't be more satisfied with his hands. They were his means of escape, his wings. So even if he screwed up things in the real world, he could always literally make things better. He could draw Levi’s smile, he could paint an interested spark in those piercing grey eyes and he could make him notice him. Eren blinked and the haziness from his lack of sleep vanished completely. Yes, he wanted Levi to notice him. He hadn't wanted something this bad in a long time. He wanted Levi to look at him, to take him in like Eren did, to talk to him. What did Levi like? What were his hobbies? His interests? What made him tick?

He was snapped out his thoughts when he heard the shrill sound of his alarm going off from his bedroom. He was just going to start doing the lips but it seemed that would have to wait. He laid down his painting tools and started to get ready. He took his morning shower and got dressed. He did this absentmindedly but when he spared a glance towards the clock, he was pleasantly surprised to find out that he had only spent fifteen minutes. Eren considered that a feat as he usually took double that time. He padded towards the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing the milk. He closed it and grabbed the box of his favorite cereals. He poured everything in a green colored bowl and was soon munching lazily on his spoon. He savored the strong chocolate taste that was quickly mixing with the milk and his mood brightened a little bit. Maybe this day wouldn't be so bad after all. Eren knew that was wishful thinking but maybe, just maybe, he would get it right today.

He washed the dirty bowl and spoon when he was done and grabbed his backpack, checking to see if he was not forgetting anything. He smiled when he saw that his umbrella was there too and put on his wrist watch, satisfied that he still had plenty of time left. Maybe he could use it to help him kiss Petra’s ass later on. Even if he admitted that he probably didn't deserve it, he still wanted to keep his job. He locked his door and walked down the street in a steady pace. He was aware that some people that already knew him from sight were shooting him curious glances, probably wondering why he was not power walking across the street like every day. His smile widened to a slight grin and he shoved his hands in his pockets. It felt like he was sending them a nice little ‘fuck you’ for a change. He arrived at the cafe; the chiming announcing his entrance. He could hear Sasha getting things ready in the kitchen. She always arrived a little early because of that. She must have heard the door open though because she was soon starting at him a little wide eyed. He blinked at her and then looked behind him to see if there was some kind of tentacle monster or something. He then turned to her and shrugged.

“What?”

Sasha cleared her throat as she tried to not make the smile on her lips too obvious.

“Nothing…I just never thought I would see the day Eren Jaeger arrived fifteen minutes early to work.”

Eren felt his cheeks warm up a little and he grumbled. He made his way towards his locker and he heard Sasha follow him. He took off his brown leather jacket and red sweater, not minding even a little bit in being shirtless in front of Sasha. He was not ashamed of his body and they were friends so it was not a big deal.

“Petra must have given you quite a scare. I know I would be, I don’t even want to imagine her angry.”

Eren quickly put on his work shirt and tied the dark green colored apron on his waist before he turned to face Sasha with a nervous smirk.

“Is she already here?”

Sasha nodded hesitantly and Eren took a deep breath.

“She actually asked me to tell her when you arrived. I think she wants to talk to you before the cafe opens.”

She gave him an apologetic look and Eren just shrugged. Sasha was soon disappearing up the stairs only to arrive seconds later, waving him over.

“You can come now.”

Eren breathed deeply once again, trying to calm his nerves. It’s Petra. There’s no need to feel like a shark is about to swallow him. As if reading his mind, Sasha laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and smiled.

“Don’t worry, she didn’t seem angry.”

That did little to calm him but he thanked her silently for trying. She retreated into the kitchen, leaving him alone. He took his time climbing up the stairs and he felt slightly intimidated. They led to a single corridor. There were a couple of doors which he probably guessed were only storage rooms and at the end was Petra’s office. He stood in front of it and knocked, quickly recoiling his hand as if he had been burned.

“Come in.”

He opened the door and stepped in, closing it carefully. Petra was reading something on her desk. She had her glasses on and Eren looked around while he waited to be acknowledged. Her office wasn't something grand. It was as cozy as her cafe, well lit and tastefully decorated. She had a few vases with different types of flowers in them and they gave off a delicate aroma to the room. He remembered when he had first come here for his interview. He had been nervous, not really very experienced as his awkwardness hadn't earned him many jobs. He remembered being immediately soothed by the soft scent around him and Petra’s gentle nature afterwards. The words flowed from his mouth and even a smile ever now and then. He had actually been amazed with himself at how smooth he had been.

He saw Petra finally look up to him and all his worries disappeared. She wasn’t angry. She just seemed worried and he started feeling like shit once again. She shouldn't be worrying about him. She had better stuff to do.

“Eren, sit down, please.”

He did so, fumbling with his hands. She folded her hands beneath her chin and her eyes searched his face. He cleared his throat and that seemed to snap her from her silent inspection.

“First of all, I want to deeply apologize for what happened yesterday.”

Petra’s face saddened a bit and he winced.

“Eren, did something happen? It’s not only about yesterday; I have noticed that you have been a little off this past week.”

Eren blinked and he frowned. Was he that obvious? Still, the last thing he wanted was to bother Petra with something like this. It was not reason enough for him to fuck up at work. He shook his head.

“I’m really sorry, Petra. I guess I've just been a little tired but I assure you no one is to blame except me.”

He heard her sigh.

“I know how much you need this job, Eren. I understand you’re human and you make mistakes but if tired is all you are then I advise you to ponder on your sleeping habits.”

He nodded.

“As for yesterday, it’s fine. Just a minor embarrassment. Erwin has already put that behind him.”

Eren did not care about what Erwin thought though. He **_had_** to ask.

“…And your other friend?”

Petra’s lips curved into a fond smile.

“I think he was more angry at the fact that his shirt got dirty than anything else really.”

It was silly but Eren felt his heart leap at those words. So Levi held no grudge against him? He would mull over that later though as Petra stood up, him following her. She opened the door and Eren figured that they were done.

_That went…well._

Petra patted his shoulder softly and he felt like he could do something right after all.

“Please think about what I said Eren. Your recent behavior is bad for your health and mine I’m afraid.”

His cheeks turned red and he nodded once again. He wanted to apologize for the hundredth time but before he could, Petra had already closed the door and left him alone. He huffed and headed downstairs so they could open the cafe. The scent of Sasha’s baking invaded his nostrils and he hummed pleasantly. It was good to know he could keep his job and he felt a bit ridiculous for freaking out so much before. When the embarrassment and shock wears off it leaves this feeling of helplessness as the inevitability of it all drops down on you. It could have gone differently but it didn't and he would just have to get used to it. He was Eren Jaeger and he was a dork.

_I am a dork._

He sighed as he checked if everything was in order. After a little while, the first costumers started coming in; the chiming of their entrances spurring him into action. He even managed to serve Jean with a straight face, who kept calling him a sandwich au fromage.

“I gotta hand it to you though; I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.”

Eren gave him a strained, bloodthirsty smile before leaving him to attend to the other costumers. It would do him no good if he allowed his good day to be ruined by horseface. After a few remarks Jean got bored of nagging him and left him alone. The day was uneventful as always. Eren was still plagued by the memories of the other day. He wondered when would be the next time he would see Levi. From what he had gathered from Petra’s and Erwin’s conversation, Levi had moved to their town so he probably had a home somewhere. It also meant that they could bump into each other at any moment so it’s not like the chances of them meeting were slim. Eren blushed slightly at that, shaking his head. Maybe it was for the best if he just left the guy alone though. They don’t even know each other and already Eren can’t stand the thought of them not meeting; of Levi never acknowledging him as a person. An interest like that, that bloomed so spontaneously, could definitely not be good for both of them. Eren decided he would have to get used to the idea of admiring him from afar, through his art.

He was on his lunch break when his phone started vibrating in his pocket. He rested his half eaten hamburger on his plate and wiped his mouth. He fished his phone out of his pants’ pocket and groaned at the name _Mikasa_ flashing on the screen. He was sure she was probably going to scold him for not picking up his phone when she had obviously warned him she would call that same day. He took a deep breath and clicked on the green button, putting on his sweetest voice.

“Hey, sis, how are you doing?”

“Eren.”

He gulped and his fake smile dropped immediately.

“Yes, Mikasa?”

“Is everything alright?”

Eren sighed feeling a little overwhelmed.

“Huh, yea, Mikasa. I’m fine. I’m sorry for not picking up nor calling you back. I just had a rough night, that’s all.”

There was a brief silence before he heard her sigh in what could be described as relief. He felt a little bad for making her worry. Knowing Mikasa, she had probably been conjuring up images of him being in a horrible accident or something like that.

“Oh, okay then. Armin was worried too. He said he would come over at your apartment when you got off work.”

Eren chuckled. That actually didn't sound like a bad idea. He could use a little company.

“That’s fine by me. You could come along too, if you want.”

Mikasa’s voice sounded wistful.

“I can’t, I've got nighttime lessons with my trainees today. You boys have fun though.”

Eren’s nose wrinkled at Mikasa calling them boys. She was their age, for Christ’s sake.

“You sound like an old woman, Mikasa. I would be worried if I were you.”

He was sure that if they were together right now, she would stick her tongue out at him.

“Whatever you say, Eren. Take care of yourself or I’ll go do it for you.  And pick up your damn phone.”

“Love you too, sis.”

And with that, she hung up. He sighed and resumed eating what was left of his lunch. Today was a bit busier for Krista and Ymir so they hadn’t talked much besides the usual greeting. He paid for his meal and returned to the cafe. The place was quiet and empty. Sasha was sweeping the floor of the kitchen when he went to check on her. There hadn’t been many costumers today so she had to occupy herself with other things. Her kitchen, while a bit disorganized, was always clean.

She looked up to him and smiled her easy smile, resting the broom against the wall before crossing her arms.

“So how did it go?”

He returned her smile with one of his own, leaning against the door frame.

“I’m still here, so I guess it went better than I expected.”

Sasha rolled her eyes as if he had said something obvious.

“You always make such a big deal out of things. I told you she was not angry.”

Eren looked down, biting his lip.

“It’s not the first time I do something like that. I was just afraid that she had had enough. Dropping hot drinks on customers is not something small.”

He heard Sasha sigh. He heard her mumble.

“If only Connie were here.”

“But he’s not and you’re going to have to put up with me for one more week.”

He smirked as he saw her immediately blush at that.

“Sooooo…did you talk to him?”

Her blush deepened to a bright red now. She looked at everywhere but his face as she answered.

“Maybe…our conversations never last very long though…he always says he has ‘stuff’ to do.”

She shrugged looking slightly sad. Eren felt the urge to face palm.

_Connie, you idiot._

He was about to say his thoughts to her; that Connie was indeed just an oblivious idiot but the chiming of the entrance door stopped him. He sent an apologetic glance but she was already grabbing her broom so he took that as his cue to leave. The rest of the day went without incidents and he was soon changing back into his normal clothes. He was putting on his jacket when Sasha walked in.

“Hey, Eren, are you busy tomorrow after work?”

Eren shook his head. He was never busy unless he was in a hurry to finish a requested painting or if one of his friends wanted to hang out. Sasha smiled widely, clapping her hands.

“Great! I need you to do me a favor.”

He slung his backpack over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow at her. She had a certain shine in her eyes, a shine that he had learned to not trust.

“Go on…”

“I need you go to the city library and return one of the books I had borrowed. I can’t go myself because I agreed on babysitting one of my cousins and tomorrow is when the term ends.”

Eren clicked his tongue.

“Let me guess…you forgot and now you can’t go back on your word either.”

Sasha’s smile turned into a cunning smirk. He didn’t need convincing really, the library wasn’t that far and it’s not like it was that hard. He just had to go, return the book and leave.

“Yea, you got it all figured out. Consider it payback for making me do your work yesterday.”

Ouch. Low blow. Still, Eren knew he had deserved it and he raised his hands in surrender.

“Alright, alright. Fair enough. I’ll do it, don’t worry.”

She hummed in satisfaction and he started to leave to give her some privacy to change.

“See you tomorrow then, Sasha.”

“See ya!”

Once again, he breathed in the cold air as he got out of the cafe. He looked up towards the usual grey sky and sighed. He took out his umbrella from his backpack just in case, holding it in his hand. He walked a bit faster since Armin would be at his house soon and he didn’t want to leave him waiting.

He arrived in ten minutes. He closed the door behind him and threw his keys towards their usual place at the kitchen counter. He took off his jacket and hung it on the dark wooden coat stand near his entrance door. He took off his converse and padded in his socked feet towards the kitchen. He was feeling like having a cup of tea so he grabbed the box of his favorite one- it being chamomile- and started boiling the water. While he did this, the doorbell rang and he went to open it. He smiled at Armin who had wordlessly shoved the movie _The Phantom of the Opera_ in his face, wiggling his eyebrows. Eren chuckled as they had seen that movie thousands of times yet they never got tired of it. He let his friend in, closing the door.

“Do you have any popcorn, Eren? I could make us some while you finish your tea.”

Eren hummed in thought before he nodded. He had bought a packet of instant microwave popcorn on his last trip to the grocery store, the salty kind that the both of them enjoyed. He poured his finished tea unto a cup and went to drink it at the window. It was starting to rain **_again._** Eren blew to the cup so the tea would cool down a little bit. The apartment right in front of his had been empty for a few months. He had seen and heard moving trucks nearby though so it was possible that someone was occupying it already. Not that it was any of his business, he was just filling up his mind while he waited for Armin to be done with the popcorn. He could already hear the satisfying popping too and he smiled. He could feel himself completely relaxed when he noticed movement in the window of the nearby apartment. Someone was moving busily around the room, settling things up and he squinted his eyes out of curiosity. It wasn't long before he noticed just **_who_** his new neighbor actually was. He was in the middle of an experimental sip when the person fully faced the window and he promptly spit out his tea, coughing as he chocked. He faintly heard Armin ask him if he was alright from the kitchen but his mind was only focused on one thing.

_What the fuck! Why the hell is he fucking everywhere?!_

He then held the cup of tea away from his face, glaring at it.

_Is the tea some kind of trigger or something?!_

He heard the sound of footsteps near him and he looked up to see a confused Armin, probably wondering why he seemed so mad at the seemingly innocent cup of tea.

“Are you okay? I heard you chocking.”

He had to clear his throat a few times before his voice was not sounding like an old man’s.

“Urgh, yea, it rebelled against its creator and tried to kill me!”

That seemed to wipe the worried expression off Armin’s face, who rolled his eyes chuckling. He then held up the bowl full of popcorn in his arms.

“Come on, dork, let’s go and swoon over pitiful men in love.”

Eren didn’t need to be told twice. He threw one last glance at the window, feeling a bit disappointed that Levi was not there anymore before he mentally slapped himself. Hadn’t he decided that he would leave the guy alone?

He grunted and plopped down on the couch. He ignored the unfinished painting, opting in throwing a small white blanket over it so Armin wouldn’t start asking questions about it. Armin came back with a glass of soda before he started the movie and joined him on the couch. What followed after were a mix of them singing along to the songs they already knew by heart- melody included- raging at Christine for being so oblivious and sharing the angst of the misunderstood villain on a whole new level.  They probably looked ridiculous as they clung to each other near the end. Armin was mumbling about white knight wannabes while Eren was busy sympathizing with the Phantom and his unrequited love for Christine. It sent sharp pangs to his heart as he heard his brokenhearted singing. To live your entire life yearning for someone, to meet that someone and losing them to someone else and then to leave them, give them up to that person for good was something that Eren couldn't even imagine how it would feel. It would be devastating that was for sure. His eyes couldn't help but stray towards his covered, unfinished painting but he quickly wiped the thought from his mind. He was being silly in even thinking about comparing to the situation.

_Get over yourself, Eren._

And so, he and Armin watched the movie until the credits rolled and even then they listened to the music until the credits ended too. Armin was the first to leave from their comfortable embrace, getting up and stretching his legs and arms. He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and Eren raised an eyebrow at him mockingly. Armin shrugged.

“What? It’s a pretty touching story. It doesn't help that they sing so well too…”

Eren nodded in agreement before a yawn escaped his mouth. Armin smiled and started gathering his things.

“It’s night already so I guess I should be leaving. I got to work early tomorrow.”

Eren got up to accompany him to the door. They hugged goodbye and soon Eren was alone. He was lured to his window once again, watching with slight anticipation on how there were lights on a window that had been dark for quite a while. Maybe he wasn't so alone after all.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if this chapter may seem a little bland. I've been fighting a pretty nasty writer's block but I managed to finish this chapter, which is a bit of a filler. I already have a concrete idea for the next chapter so it shouldn't be so bad :P  
> I hope you liked it! ^-^
> 
> And yuuuuuush, The Phantom of the Opera is my all time favorite movie. I'm sorry, I just had to fangirl it all over my fic ;w;
> 
> Eren vs Tea-sama! XD


	5. Nine in the Afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of this chapter is "Nine in the Afternoon" by Panic! At The Disco. (Your eyes are the size of the mooooon <3 )
> 
> Levi's POV this time.

_“Levi!”_

_His grey eyes searched the crowd, taking small steps towards the familiar voice. His lips twitched slightly when he saw a tall, blond man breaking his way through the crowd fluidly. Levi loosened his grip on his traveling bags just in time for him to be swiped in a tight hug. The scent of expensive cologne mixed with the undeniable musk of Erwin instantly calmed him and he ignored the curious glances directed towards them as he returned the hug._

_“Erwin.”_

_Said man pulled back with a bright smile on his face. He had never seen Erwin so happy to see him and it only made Levi feel that he had made the right choice for once. They took the time to examine each other. Erwin had not changed much except for the fact that he was taller-Levi didn’t know how that was even possible and his eye twitched- and sturdier looking. Erwin had become a fully fledged man through and through; not a trace of the blossoming teenager he remembered._

_He raised an eyebrow when Erwin’s smile slowly disappeared as his blue eyes roamed his body. Levi felt a little uncomfortable, crossing his arms in front of his chest. It felt a little surreal to see almost disappointment in his childhood friend’s face._

_“You look skinny.”_

_And it was like Erwin suddenly grew three times his size; his bittersweet expression made him feel smaller than he already was. He looked down at his luggage and lifted it once again._

_“People change.”_

_Levi mumbled. Erwin cleared his throat and the smile was back on his lips once again as he reached for one of his heavier bags. He hoisted it effortlessly in one hand while the other rested lightly against the small of his back. Levi frowned but thought nothing of it. They engaged in mindless conversation while they headed towards Erwin’s car and Levi couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed. Maybe he had been naïve to think that things between him and Erwin would stay the same, that after being away for five years, barely speaking to each other, their unique companionship would stay intact. They were awkward; tiptoeing around each other. It was infuriating._

_When the chill of the early morning breeze hit his face, Levi breathed in, feeling relieved to be out of the warm and crowded airport. It was one of the things that he disliked: crowds. To mingle among a high quantity of bodies, unwillingly share their body heat and inevitably rub off on their germs too. Levi shivered. He was craving a shower badly. Erwin left him alone for a few seconds, saying that he was going to go get his car. He looked at the grey sky and sighed. So this was it. He was starting a new life and putting everything else behind him._

_A car honk startled him and he looked towards Erwin looking all smooth in his Mercedes. He nodded at him to enter and after putting his bags in the trunk, he sat down in the passenger seat. The ride was also silent and Levi decided to fidget with the radio to fill in the silence. He settled for the first station that wasn’t broadcasting crappy pop songs. Erwin raised an eyebrow and chuckled; the mood lightening a bit. It was comfortable now as they rode to the sound of soft classical music. Levi knew that was Erwin’s favorite type and he smirked._

_“What are you smiling for?”_

_Levi gave him a sidelong glance. Erwin drove with a practiced ease. He examined the big strong hands gripping tightly on the stirring wheel, his relaxed stance and controlled smile. No, this was not the same Erwin that Levi remembered but it was still him. He could see it in the way the other’s eyes sparkled with determination, the way he slightly bobbed his head along with the music. Levi looked away when Erwin’s eyes met him for a bit, mumbling._

_“Thinking about silly things.”_

_They didn’t speak after that.  Traffic was a little busy so it took some time before they arrived at Erwin’s penthouse. Levi had no doubt that his friend still had that mansion in the countryside but he was probably living here because of work. They got in the elevator and Levi stared at the buttons changing lights every time they passed through a floor. The soft ding resounded and the door opened. Erwin produced a set of keys from the inner pocket of his jacket and opened the entrance door, stepping back to let Levi in first. Said man rolled his eyes but complied, dragging his bags with him; Erwin was carrying his heavier bag once again. Levi sighed as he put his bags down, hearing the door close before Erwin was beside him. The man smiled gently at him and Levi tried hard not to smirk back. He followed Erwin to what he supposed would be his temporary room until he could find a home of his own. Erwin opened the door and stepped back once again, letting him peer in. He hummed in satisfaction as he saw it was very clean. It looked comfortable and not too luxurious- which was a bit weird since the whole penthouse looked fancy as hell- but it was exactly how Levi liked things and he wondered if Erwin had done it on purpose. Erwin helped him carry his bags inside the room. He cleared his throat and opened another door inside the guestroom to reveal an attached bathroom and Levi felt slightly giddy. The shower was beckoning him like a siren’s call and once again, everything was just exceptionally clean. Overall, it was very nice and thoughtful of Erwin to remember his stupid quirks and he didn’t bother in stopping the slight smile on his lips this time. Erwin chuckled._

_“I take it is to your liking then.”_

_Levi walked inside the bathroom to inspect it, conscious that Erwin was close behind him. He caressed the marble of the bathtub and checked for any filthiness in the showerhead. He nodded to Erwin who seemed awfully smug._

_“Damn…of course I like it.”_

_Erwin nodded absentmindedly and only snapped out of whatever he was deeply thinking of when Levi cleared his throat. Erwin’s eyes widened a bit._

_“Oh, right, I’m sure you want some privacy now. Are you hungry? I could make you something.”_

_Levi raised an eyebrow. It seemed only normal that Erwin would cook his own meals despite being more than able to pay for someone to do it for him. He remembered the nights where he would sleepover at Erwin’s house and his friend would cook them dinner as his parents were absent most of the time. He also remembered how delicious his cooking was and he licked his lips unconsciously. He was feeling a little hungry as the trip had been long and he had only eaten a sandwich before he had boarded the plane. He simply nodded at Erwin. He felt a little bad for not talking much but he admitted being a little embarrassed with his difficulty on saying English words. Erwin had probably already noted that and that was why he wasn’t poking him about it. He knew he would have to work on it though since not every person would be as understanding as Erwin was._

_Erwin turned around to leave and Levi bent over the bathtub to turn the shower on. The water came almost immediately warm and Levi wondered what had he done to deserve such heavenly things._

_“Oh, Levi.”_

_He turned his head to look at Erwin, raising an eyebrow. Erwin smiled and his eyes wrinkled. Levi thought it was kind of adorable._

_“Welcome back.”_

_Levi swallowed, his eyes following his friend until he disappeared behind the now closed door of the bathroom. Why had he left Erwin really? Did he even think about the people he would leave behind? How they would feel?_

_He sighed. He took off his clothes quickly before getting under the showerhead. The hot spray of water relaxed his muscles and he hissed, rubbing the place that connected his neck to his left shoulder. He winced unconsciously as his fingers treaded the thin scar there. He really had been an idiot._

_He didn’t know how long he had stood there but when he was finally all dried up he caught the scent of something tasty in the air. He chose a plain white t-shirt and grey sweatpants and put them on before he followed the smell until he saw Erwin placing a plate filled with fries and an omelet on the kitchen table. He looked up when he noticed Levi’s presence, rubbing the back of his neck._

_“I hope this is fine for you. I only noticed I need to go grocery shopping just now.”_

_Levi blinked at the food before shaking his head._

_“Don’t worry about it, it’s food and that is enough.”_

_He sat down at the table, Erwin joining him, and started eating. He hummed as the flavors exploded in his tongue. Erwin still had a thing for spices. He could see him from the corner of his eye, watching him intensely and Levi stared back, chewing slower. Erwin huffed and Levi swallowed, his eyes widening a bit._

_“It’s really good, Erwin.”_

_Erwin seemed to brighten up after hearing that, standing up and returning with a newspaper in hand. Levi finished his meal in silence, wiping his mouth carefully with a napkin before he stood up and leaned over his friend’s shoulder to see what he was reading about. His eyelids lowered in disinterest though when he saw it was only one more of those domestic violence cases. Men like those had no shame and he had no interest in them._

_“Disgusting, isn’t it?”_

_He blinked down at Erwin. His friend was glaring at the picture of the murderer with a sneer on his lips. Levi sighed, tentatively resting a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. He reached out and flipped to the next page knowing such things hit too close at home for Erwin. He could feel the other relax under his fingers as he now read an article about football._

_When Erwin reached the employment page, he seemed to remember something. He closed the newspaper and folded it, placing it on top of the table before he turned around in his seat to face him. Levi raised an eyebrow at him and Erwin smiled._

_“You’re looking for a job, aren’t you? Oh, what am I saying, of course you are!”_

_Levi shrugged._

_“Well, yes. The sooner I get one the faster I could get off your back, I guess. I have some money but it won’t last forever.”_

_Erwin chuckled as he stood up. He fished around one of his front pockets and pulled out a slip of paper, handing it to Levi. The black haired man took it, his eyes narrowed before a small smile formed on his pouting lips once again._

_“The city library?”_

_“You like books, don’t you? I thought you might as well try. I have a friend that works there and she said the pay is good.”_

_He looked up at Erwin, speechless. One thing was offering his home temporarily while he fixed his life but to open the door to it for him? Levi looked away, shoving the slip of paper with a cell phone number on it inside one of the pockets of his sweatpants. The awkwardness was long gone but he couldn’t find it in himself to look into Erwin’s eyes while he said this._

_“Thank you…you’re a good friend, Erwin.”_

_“You would do the same for me.”_

_Levi looked up at that, his eyes slightly widened. Erwin’s expression was gentle once again._

_“Yes…I would.”_

Grey eyes opened slowly. He groaned, rubbing at his neck. He looked around, realizing he was on his new couch, inside his new apartment. There were some unpacked boxes still on the ground and he glared at them. The pain in his neck reminded him of the urgent need to buy a bed as soon as possible. Erwin had offered to help with furniture expenses but Levi had refused vehemently. He needed to do this alone. He couldn’t possible ask anymore of Erwin nor did he want to. He did feel kind of accomplished the first time he stepped on his new home. He would not admit that Erwin’s expression of a kicked puppy, when he packed his things and left, had affected him in any way though. It was not like he was leaving for good once again. They were half an hour away from each other at best. They talked regularly and he even got to see Petra once again, after such a long time.

And that reminded him of a certain incident. He curled his lip, getting up from the couch and heading towards the bathroom. He brushed his teeth to get rid of morning breath and started the shower. He undressed, having only slept on his plain white t-shirt and black boxers and waited a bit more since this was not Erwin’s fancy personal paradise and it took quite a while for the water to heat up. When it was warm enough, he sighed out a “finally!” and got in. He washed himself thoroughly; his skin was a little red by the time he was finished. He went to his bedroom where there was only a wardrobe and- looking at the window and seeing that it was probably going to rain again- chose a pair of black jeans and a grey turtleneck sweater. Yeah, he didn’t own many bright colored clothes. He felt more comfortable wearing dark colors. Last time he did wear something white, it ended up soiled. He shivered, not wanting to remember that disastrous moment. He hadn’t felt that embarrassed in a long time, that was for sure. And it was obvious that that waiter was a disaster waiting to happen. He did have pretty eyes though…

Levi shook his head, blaming such thoughts on a bad night of sleep. It was still fairly early for him to go to work but it was not a habit of his to sleep much either so he chose to kill some time cleaning his new apartment again. It probably got dirty again overnight.

He was done too quickly though and barely an hour had passed. It was 7 am and he only needed to be at work at 8:30 am. His stomach growled, reminding him that he had nothing to eat yet and since his fridge and cupboards were still pretty much empty, he grabbed his keys and his trustworthy messenger bag and left. The streets were already busy as people hurried to their works. He could hear the first car honks too and he rolled his eyes. This was one of the reasons why he wouldn’t get a driving license. The last thing he needed was more stress in his life. He also did not the like the idea of sharing a road with complete strangers.

_I might as well just say it: I don’t like people._

He barely blinked as he passed through that Wall Rose Cafe from the other day. He pondered risking it and go see Petra after work but the idea of running into that clumsy guy again was strangely intimidating. Not that Levi was scared of him, no way, but he was rather apprehensive in meeting him again since their first interactions had always been…stressful. He truly held no grudge against him; clumsiness probably ran through this guy’s veins with the way he carried himself. It was like he was straight from one of those cheesy comedy/romance movies. Oh, Levi could almost imagine it and it made him want to barf.

He found a respectable looking cafe soon enough and he opted in sitting outside since it hadn’t started raining yet. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts. The waiter, a raven pig tailed girl, spotted him almost immediately and he ordered a cup of green tea- yes that was his favorite- and a bagel. The girl nodded with a bright smile; his eyes narrowed and followed her until she disappeared back inside the cafe. Someone that happy in the mornings was highly suspicious. He allowed himself to relax in his seat, staring at the people passing by. A few minutes after, the waiter returned and he forced out a thanks since he felt the girl didn’t have to suffer through his usual grumpiness. It seemed his effort paid off since the girl was then kind enough to go get him a newspaper that they allowed customers to borrow. He nodded his thanks this time, surprised at how well this day was starting for once. He drank his tea and ate his bagel absentmindedly while he read the newspaper. Usual dramas, murders, kidnaps and war. It’s like there weren’t good news anymore in this world.

_But of course, people always seem more interested in the bad things after all._

He drank the last of his tea and carefully wiped the table of any crumbs his bagel might have left, even though they were nonexistent since he had made sure they all fell into the plate the pastry had been brought on. He fished around his bag for his hand sanitizer and poured a bit on his hands, rubbing it on. It was such a relaxing action, to clean your hands that is. He also couldn’t stand to see tables with used tableware on them so he brought them to the counter himself, ignoring the surprised and curious looks of the waiter. She probably wasn’t used to someone doing that. He also handed her the newspaper, taking note to come to this cafe more often.

Once outside, he checked his wrist watch. He still had half an hour left so he decided to spend it by walking around the city. The library wasn’t far and he guessed it wouldn’t hurt to go check some home items stores.

He ended up arriving at the city library with a bag in his hand and still ten minutes early. He unlocked the front door and walked in as quietly as he could. Shitty glasses was most likely already inside, making a mess out of everything.

It did not surprise him that he was right.

“Oh, Levi! Good morning, mon petit!”

Her French pronunciation was also horrendous.

“Hanji, I remember telling you not to try speaking French ever again to me-!”

He was interrupted by a red blur suddenly squeezing the life out of him. He gasped, trying to regain himself before he quickly shoved that nutcase away from him.

“Also, no touching! I can only imagine how long it has been since you’ve taken a shower!”

She simply smiled at him however, as if he had hugged her back and sang a good morning while puking rainbows. She then seemed to ponder on his words, making silent calculations with her fingers and his eyes widened. She noticed, giving him a sly smirk and patting him on the back.

“I believe it was last week actually! Oh, don’t look at me like that…I’ve just been so busy with my research and…”

Levi had tuned her off after she said ‘last week’, turning around and heading towards his desk. He put down his bag behind it and started organizing the papers on top of it, checking the dates to see which books were due to be returned today. He felt numb. How was Erwin friends with that creature?

After another thorough disinfection of his hands, he sat down at the desk and turned on the computer. It was past 8:30 am and the library was now open. Hanji was running around from side to side as she tried to organize the books she had put out of place, most of them being from the science section so it didn’t take her long. A few people had already gotten in, most of them to return books. Some of them tried to make conversation with him but his short replies didn’t give them any chance as they left with slightly uncomfortable smiles. He was aware that he was not a likeable person. He was trying though and that should be enough. As lunch break neared, the library wasn’t so busy anymore and he was in middle of a game of solitaire when he heard a loud crash. He jumped up from his seat, practically running towards the History section where the noise had come from. As he rounded the corner, he couldn’t resist the urge to slap his palm to his forehead.

“Hanji!”

Said woman was frantically trying to pick up all the books- books that had been organized in alphabetical order by Levi the other day- and were currently lying in a pile on the floor. She was also giggling. Apparently she thought it was funny.

“It’s okay, Levi! I’ve got it under control! Don’t worry about me, I’m not hurt!”

Levi curled his lip. This was so typical of Hanji that he didn’t even care anymore.

“Whatever. Clean up this mess!”

She saluted him, trying to look serious even though she was failing miserably with the way her lips were twitching.

“Yes, sir!”

With a last glance, he turned and walked away. He checked his watch and saw that it was practically lunch break already and as if reading his mind, his phone vibrated inside his pocket. He flicked it open and read the message.

_“Erwin: Want to have lunch together?”_

Levi smirked, typing a response.

_“Levi: Alright.”_

Almost immediately, his phone vibrated again.

_“Erwin: I’ll come pick you up at the library then.”_

Levi sighed, grabbing his messenger bag and headed outside. Ten minutes later, Erwin’s Mercedes pulled over and Levi wordlessly got in. He greeted his friend who returned it with one of his smiles and drove off.

“So, where are we going?”

Erwin tapped his fingers against the stirring wheel, giving him a sideways glance.

“I was thinking we could try that new Thai restaurant that opened last week.”

Levi hummed and nodded in agreement. The silence that followed didn’t last long though as Erwin cleared his throat.

“So…how are things going?”

Levi shrugged though he knew Erwin could see he was satisfied.

“It’s a nice apartment. Give me a couple of months and I will have it fully furnished.”

He could see Erwin wanted to help him but he respected his wishes. His shoulders dropped as he sighed, chuckling.

“Well, I’m happy for you then.”

Levi gave a tiny smile before it dropped when Erwin parked near the restaurant. They looked around, finding it traditionally decorated. Levi liked it already: It looked clean and elegant but cozy at the same time. A waiter smiled at them, leading them to one of the tables near the window. The man gave them the menus and Erwin thanked him before they were left alone to choose. Levi was feeling like having noodles so he chose the Stir-fried glass noodles while Erwin opted for Fried rice with shrimp paste. When the food was ready, they ate in a comfortable silence. It tasted delicious.

“This was a great idea, Erwin.”

Erwin smirked, swallowing a forkful of rice.

“Well…I remember how you practically inhaled Thai food when we were younger so I figured you would like it.”

Levi felt his cheeks heat up slightly. He looked down at his food, frowning and ignored the low chuckle from Erwin. When they were done, Erwin asked for the bill and ignored Levi’s protests when he paid for it all.

“It’s my treat this time.”

Levi grumbled at that but eventually let it go. Arguing with Erwin about money was useless. They stayed a bit chatting until Levi checked his watch again and said he had to go. When they arrived at the library, he waved goodbye at Erwin, thanking him for the lunch and got in. He could hear Hanji still in the History section and he rolled his eyes. He hoped she had eaten something at least. Not like he was worried about her or anything but it would be bothersome to have her fainting from weakness. After checking on her and trying not to have a fit while watching her munch on a sandwich and sitting in the middle of the floor he returned to his desk. It was almost closing time when someone entered the empty library and Levi didn’t look up until he heard a sharp intake of breath. He wanted to groan when he noticed who was standing in front of his desk.

_Not you again…_

He raised an eyebrow at the nervous looking guy. He snorted in amusement when he read the title of the book he was holding; his eyes looking back up at a flushed face. He didn’t really take him for someone who would enjoy that kind of book but to each their own, he supposed. He decided to make it easier for both of them and spoke first.

“Hi.”

The other’s eyes widened a bit until he cleared his throat.

“Hum..hi. I’m here to return this book.”

Levi hummed, taking it from the other’s hands and checking the tag inside. He confirmed the dates and was almost done when he heard the guy fidget.

“It was not me, by the way. I’m…huh…doing a favor to a friend.”

Levi had already noticed that since the records said it was requested by a girl named Sasha but he found it amusing how the guy was so embarrassed, how he was restless. Levi rested the erotica book on the desk and nodded at the other. The guy rubbed the back of his neck. He seemed to want to say something more.

“Yes?”

He jumped at the sound of Levi’s voice. Levi’s frown deepened not understanding why the guy was so nervous. He didn’t think he was intimidating; he may look unfriendly but certainly not intimidating.

“Listen…I don’t think we got off on the right foot… I want to apologize for…you know.”

Levi blinked. Oh, so that was the reason. He couldn’t help but find it a little endearing.

“Oh.”

He was also feeling irritated with himself for not saying something intelligent for once.

“So…what do you say we talk it out over a cup of coffee tomorrow…maybe?”

Levi was surprised and even a little flattered. This guy seemed alright after all. He really wanted to make it up to him. And it’s not like it would hurt to try. Even if they ended up not getting along at least there would be no awkwardness between them.

“Ok.”

The guy blinked as if he didn’t believe he had agreed. His lips spread in a shy smile as he extended his hand.

“I’m Eren.”

He shook his hand, finding the grip surprisingly firm.

“Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I abused the word 'smile' in this chapter but oh well xD I hope you liked it! ^-^

**Author's Note:**

> So I've decided to try out this pairing since I like it too. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this but I have a few ideas in mind xD I hope you like it!
> 
> P.S. : This fic was inspired by Avantasia's song "Carry Me Over" and its music video. :3
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC-FqllS6Ls


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